Never been kissed
by yellow 14
Summary: Moaning Myrtle is bemoaning the fact that she's never been kissed when she receives an unexpected lesson in kissing from the most unexpected teacher.


Disclaimer: If I wrote Harry Potter, it wouldn't be anywhere near as good as it is.

AN: Written for The "I Kissed A Girl" Competition by Sparkling Soul and also for HedwigBlack's Weekly Challenge. And is a pairing inspired by Gamma Orionis's femmslash drabble tag.

Myrtle's long, whining sob could be heard throughout the Ravenclaw tower in the early hours of the Friday evening, a long and monotonous howl that was proving to be impossible to sleep through.

"Merlin, does she HAVE to do it here!" Catherine Williams exclaimed grumpily as she pulled her pillow around her ears in a desperate attempt to block the sound.

"If she wasn't already dead, I think I'd kill her just to get her to shut up," Maria added and Catherine groaned.

"We have a game against Gryffindor tomorrow and I need to be at my best to beat Potter and his new Mustang," she groaned.

"Maybe she's trying to sabotage you," Maria suggested with a smirk. "I hear she has a thing for Potter these days."

"Well I wish she had a thing for Potter somewhere else," Catherine growled angrily as she turned over in her bed holding her pillow against her ears. "Besides, he likes that redhead Lily Evans, doesn't he?"

"Yeah he does, but she hates his guts," Maria replied and Catherine smirked.

"Perhaps we should get him to wind her up some more," she suggested and Maria laughed.

"Yeah, don't think she'll hex their star chaser somehow," she replied.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

"Merlin, who's she caught snogging who this time?" Thomas Carmicheal asked with a groan as he rolled over in bed in the boy's dorms. "I swear the girl needs to get over being dead!"

"How do you know that Carmicheal?" Xiang Chang asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She caught me snogging Alice Treant near the Hufflepuff dorms last month," Thomas replied with a smirk.

"THE Alice Treant? With the huge kno-"

"The very same," he replied with a smirk before frowning. "Still wish that Myrtle would shut up."

"She was in Ravenclaw to, I don't get why she's being so stupid about it."

"I think she has too much fun being depressed," Eddie said as he rolled over.

"I just wish she'd do it somewhere else," Xiang moaned and Eddie nodded in agreement.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Perhaps fortunately for the Ravenclaw tower, there was another person who was fed up with Myrtle's whining sobs and was in an ideal position to do something about it to.

"This has gone on long enough," the Grey Lady muttered angrily as she floated towards the source of the noise. "Will you PLEASE shut up!"

Myrtle gave the Grey Lady a puzzled stare. Of all the ghosts, the Grey Lady was the quietest and Myrtle was almost certain that she had never heard her speak before.

"You are supposed to be a member of my house, try to act like you're not some empty-brained bimbo!" the Grey Lady continued. "Every single one of us ghosts is dead, get used to it! You've had many years here, the time for sympathy is over."

"It's fine for you and the others," Myrtle said with a pout. "You and yours have already lived, already experienced all the things I see others doing. I've never had a boyfriend, I've never even been kissed!"

"Boys are overrated," the Grey Lady said dismissively. "I never liked them that much."

"Oh so you expect us to all live chaste lives?" Myrtle demanded. "Some of us want to actually know love!"

The Grey Lady rolled her eyes.

"I have known many lovers," she said in exasperation. "Over the centuries I have fallen in love many times."

"Bu-"

"I said boys were overrated," the Grey Lady continued, cutting Myrtle off mid-word. "They are. In life I fell in love with someone I wasn't supposed to fall in love with and I never admitted it to myself that I loved her."

"HER!" Myrtle practically shrieked in surprise and the Grey Lady gave her a wry smile.

"Yes her," she said as she looked at Myrtle. "For all my intelligence and ability, I was completely naive in matters of the heart. There was a man I was supposed to marry, to love in earnest. I didn't know about the idea that a girl could love another the same way and I didn't understand it."

"Who was she?" Myrtle asked curiously and the Grey Lady gave a sad smile.

"Helga Hufflepuff," she said. "It took me a long time to understand what I am and I have allowed myself a few lovers and romances amongst the Hogwart's school population, but they are always fleeting affairs. Kissing, real kisses are impossible, I pass through them and I have to make do with these…pretend kisses."

"But at least you KNOW how it feels to be kissed in the flesh," Myrtle pouted once more. "I'm not even going to know that!"

"Oh?"

"You said it! I can't touch anyone the right way, I can't ever know what it's like!" Myrtle screeched despairingly. "I'm never going to be properly kissed"

But as she started another long whining sob, the Grey Lady suddenly grabbed her by the chin and smirked.

"Not everyone," she said as she looked the younger girl in the eye.

"Wh-" suddenly Myrtle was cut off mid-word again as the Grey Lady pulled her into a passionate kiss.

"There's always other ghosts," she said with a smile. "Bye, bye."

Myrtle stared in shock at the Grey Lady's retreating form. She licked her lips and smiled dreamily as she drifted away. That had been some kiss.


End file.
